| I'd rather not.... |
[May. 9th, 2006|07:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My dorm room.... | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Shakira - How Do You Do | ] |
The smell of Summer break is only about 15 more days away. Of course its killing me and everyone else. Then again, its not time to end the year in a bad way.. don't brag about who you're living with next year or rub things into people's faces. Its not the way to go.
I'm ready to get back to work at the pool and start my job at Hollister. Its exciting but at the same time, I'm afraid I won't want to come back to GS next year. And I've thought a lot about it but I just don't know what I want to do. I should have auditioned for NCSA and not told anyone about it, and then if I got in.. I'd have my choice of places to go. Then again, my mom is so proud of me being here and she is excited that I'm doing wonderful things for myself. And I don't want to disappoint my mom in any way.
I just need sleep. I think I'm going to take a shower and go to sleep because there isn't anything else to do. I don't want to hang out with people or be around people because everyone is bitching. Tomorrow I'm going to Florida and I'm excited. I'm going to visit FSU and maybe Steve will come see me while I'm up there. I'm just glad I get a break from school if nothing else. other than that.. im ready for summer. maybe not so ready to be around you-know-who.. but yeah, I'm ready.
Its showertime. |
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| err.. |
[May. 5th, 2006|01:07 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my dorm room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nauseated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Of Shape and Sound | ] |
I really just dont feel well right now. My stomach hurts and I feel stalked. I feel like I've been manipulated and dragged through mud. Not just by one person but by two.. 2.. and it sucks and sometimes I just feel so helpless. I feel sick. My stomach hurts and my eyes feel like they're melting. I don't know maybe I'm overreacting. Tyler won't stop calling me. But then again.. >>someone<< won't call me enough. Why can't it just balance?? I sent him this song the other night and I heard it playing in the background over and over as I was talking to him.. I wonder if he meant for me to hear it or if the phone just picked up the music that well..
hey
are you feeling alright?
can i get you anything?
are things now secure?
congratulations
the podium is open and waiting
waiting for you
we give our condolence
because we dont understand
what youre going through
you dont want us to
and everyone needs to be heard
there are better ways
and maybe i dont understand
but i do know
your actions are selfish
why signal a shoulder
when you can drive just fine?
maintain your speed
watch the road
stop this pretending
so hey
why can't we figure things out?
if this was the end
you wouldnt have a doubt
i guess that we both know
the key to the riddle is blatant
the obvious
we're starved for affection..
He just has no idea. Maybe some idea, but not much. I think he thinks its "sexual tension." But what does he want? A one night stand?? Do I come off like that at all? He said he'd call me at 2.. but I don't want to talk to him at 2.. I'll be tired.. and grumpy.. although it is 1:30. But then again, you never know. But I guess this means I'm going to sleep.. and I'm going to try to think good thoughts..
***
CKB |
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| Isn't it Ironic? |
[May. 2nd, 2006|04:16 pm] |
I haven't heard from him.. or had a message all day. He's been working and I'm lonely. Actually that was pulled out of my ass.. but still.. I've been thinking about him all day loooong....
xoXOxoXOxo
Caxton |
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